JOAN’S BLOG – THURSDAY, MAY 13, 2010 – DRIVING MR. SID

If my husband ever reads this blog, his reaction is going to be, “IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT. IF YOU WEREN’T SO STUBBORN, YOU’D LET ME DRIVE, AND THEN YOU WOULDN’T BE TIRED ALL OF THE TIME!!!!!!!”

This summer will be two years since that fatal day when my husband was forced to give up his license. He has never gotten over it. I do not expect that he ever will. Neither will I. This driving everywhere is going to kill me before Alzheimer’s Disease kills him. In just the first two days of this week, I drove him to and picked him up from, two different activities, a diabetic shoe appointment, and myself back and forth to errands, shopping, banking, and appointments. By the time I returned to the house last night, I sat on the couch and refused to move. Only because the urologist canceled a Friday appointment for Sid, have I been relieved of that trip. If you think I am exaggerating, you should talk to my neighbor. When I mentioned that I was tired from driving so much, she remarked, “Oh, I know. I hear that garage door opening and closing all day long. I think to myself – There goes Joan again.”

As I am sitting here, Sid is one villa away, receiving physical therapy at Genesis Rehabilitation, the company that provides therapy to the ALF and Villa residents where I live. He walked over there, instead of me driving him 30 minutes to physical therapy at his doctor’s office, only because I stood firm and said  to the doctor. He INSISTED that only HIS therapists were good enough, and I needed to drive Sid three times a week, ½ an hour each way, to the doctor’s therapy group, wait an hour while he had therapy, then drive him ½ an hour back home. I refused. He was angry. Too bad. Sometimes I just have to put my needs first, and my needs require not driving back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, when it is not necessary.

My friends, who are also Alzheimer wives, do as much, if not more driving than I do, and we try to help each other out as often as possible. We do take turns dropping off and picking up from activities, but this has just been a particularly busy driving week for me, and I am worn to a frazzle. 

If I ever win the lottery, I will hire someone to drive Mr. Sid everywhere, just as Miss Daisy’s son did in the movie, “Driving Miss Daisy” . And as long as I have hired him, he can drive me everywhere too.

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