JOAN’S BLOG – Friday, May 30, 2008, SOMEONE STOP ME PLEASE- I’M THINKING ABOUT GETTING A DOG.

A bit of background first – In October, I wrote a blog entitled The Woof Factor- Should You Get a Dog to Keep Your AD Spouse Company? Sid and I were still mourning the death of our dear Casey  (This is Casey), whose cancer forced us to “let him go” in June, 2006.  (Actually, we are still mourning and missing him – we’ll never get over that dog.) Although we are “dog people” through and through, and a dog would be great company for Sid, I decided against it for very good reasons – I don’t need more responsibility than I already have; I don’t want to have to walk a dog ; Sid might forget to take care of the dog, etc. Sid disagreed – he desperately wants another dog, but has respected my decision.

I don’t know what has gotten into me, but lately I have been missing a furry face; a happy wagging tail; a sloppy doggie kiss. I think it was the Blog about sinking into the world of AD that did it (see below). I am so focused on Alzheimer’s Disease, Sid’s care, Sid’s cognitive losses. I write, talk, live, breathe Alzheimer’s Disease with barely ever any other activities.

Sid has little to do during the day, except grocery shopping and an occasional lunch date with a friend. We both need to focus on something else besides this disease and how it is affecting us and our relationship.

We love taking care of and interacting with dogs. There is a dog park right here in our little town – 2 miles down the road, where people gather with their dogs. People bring their dogs to Town Square for the concerts; there is a Yappy Hour for dogs and their “parents” being held in the Town Square next week. Our friend has a “doggie treat” business. I am thinking it would be so good for Sid to socialize at the dog park, have dog company again.

It would also be great for me to be a dog “Mommie” again, instead of only an AD “Mommie”. I so miss those doggie kisses. I said that already, didn’t I? I so miss those doggie kisses.

What is the matter with me? Where is my brain?  Someone talk some sense into me. Sid is stable now, but AD is unpredictable. What if he takes a sudden downturn and cannot interact with, feed, play with, or remember the dog? That will leave me with more responsibility, more worry, more stress.

I can’t use a living, breathing animal as “socialization” for my AD husband. I need to find something else. Don’t I? I can’t use a living, breathing animal as my alternate focus point for AD. Can I?  But it sure would be fun to get back into the  “dog world”. 

I am so conflicted over this. I swore after Casey died in my arms, that I would never, ever put myself through that again. I swore I was done with loving a dog so much that their death would tear me to shreds.

Usually, I am quite organized and pragmatic when making a decision. I weigh the pros and cons, and go with the side that has the most on its list. But this time, I think I am being irrational. When one is dealing with an AD spouse, the cons of dog responsibility have to outweigh the pros. Don’t they?

We’re going to have a non-binding vote. Weigh in with your opinion on the Message Boards – Should Joan Get a Dog?  Or should she see a psychiatrist until this urge blows over?

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

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