JOAN’S BLOG – WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30, 2011 – DIFFICULT DECISION MAKING

Alzheimer’s Disease is a series of declines and plateaus, the length of both a continuing mystery and surprise. Lately, it seems as if my husband’s memory plateaus are decreasing, and his declines are increasing. Added to the mix are his physical declines, and we have a potential for total disability.

On Tuesday, we had another orthopedic appointment, and the news was grim. The latest MRI showed that his fractured knees are not healing. He has been sitting in his recliner since November (with time off for bathroom breaks). He has been using a walker in the house, and a wheelchair for outings. I have been administering daily bone stimulation ultrasound treatments for 3 months, and neither the treatments nor his sitting seemed to have had any effect. The doctor said that it can be 6 months before these types of fractures heal, especially taking his diabetes into consideration. The doctor’s own words were – “He’s between a rock and a hard place.  He must stay off of his feet in order for his knees to heal, but the longer he is off of his feet, the weaker his muscles become, and the more disabled he will be.”

The only other option is surgery. I told him point blank that surgery and Alzheimer’s do not mix. I have known two AD men in the last 3 years, who have gone in for surgery and never returned home. The trauma of surgery and the effects of anesthesia accelerated the Alzheimer’s disease to the point that they had to be placed in long term care facilities. He is apparently quite familiar with such cases, because he completely agreed with me, and said that surgery would be a last ditch option.

If I were forced to make such a decision today, I would forgo the surgery, and choose the physical disability. With electric wheelchairs and/or Hoverounds, he would still be able to participate in life’s activities until his mental declines eventually prohibited it. To choose surgery with the high probability of a mental meltdown does not seem a viable option to me.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, about shouldering the job of Alzheimer Spouse is easy. The emotional impact of trying to adjust to living with the stranger Alzheimer’s Disease has put in our spouses' place, is a sorrow only another Alzheimer Spouse can understand. The physical demands of tending to our AD spouses’ needs are unrelenting. I am doing the best I can with both. But I never anticipated the “Solomon” like decisions I would be asked to make – total physical disability or total mental disability.

When my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, we sat on the couch hugging each other. I swore to him that I would always take care of him. Looking back on that day, I realize that I had no idea what a long, painful, arduous task lay ahead of me.

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