JOAN’S BLOG – THURSDAY, JULY 24, 2008 – THE ALZHEIMER DEVIL TAKES A COFFEE BREAK

Once again, I must thank all of you for your support and encouragement during my difficult time. It has helped me tremendously to know that so many people understand and are reaching out to me.

Even the Alzheimer Devil takes a break when he thinks he has inflicted enough damage, and that is what happened Tuesday night. When he sneaked away for a short period of time, I was able to get through to my husband that I DID UNDERSTAND HOW HE FELT about losing his driving, and that his rage filled  behavior was killing me emotionally, and on the way to finishing the job physically. As is always the case, when what I call “brain snits” calm down, he was remorseful and apologetic. I know it will only last until the Devil smells calm and attacks again, but for now, I am savoring a little bit of peace.

I know that you get validation and support for your feelings from other members on the Message Boards. Reading your posts has given the same to me. Just when I felt as if I was losing my sanity, and questioning my decisions, I heard from you that the rages, paranoia, and irrational thinking, are definitely part of the disease; that you have experienced the same. I am sorry that you have had to endure this, but it certainly made me feel better to know that I am not alone.

You will be pleased to know that I took your advice, called Sid’s doctor, and he is seeing us Thursday morning. I feel it is important that he know what is REALLY going on with his patient, beyond that stupid mini-mental test. As far as I am concerned, that test is useless in determining depression, irrational thinking, paranoia, executive function, and confusion not related to time and date. It does not seem to test the areas in which my husband is weakest.

Unfortunately, I do not think he will prescribe an anti-depressant or any other medication, because of the drug trial. No medication change is allowed upon entering a trial. We have to return the next day for a brain MRI and cognitive testing for the trial.

Now, on a somewhat lighter note (sort of), this will be the first time I have to drive us to the neurologist, who just happens to be at the end of a 50 mile stretch of highway I-95 that is a nightmare to me. I cannot drive on busy, traffic congested highways with cars whizzing by on all sides, as well as merging at 80 miles an hour on the right, ESPECIALLY  with Sid in the passenger seat yelling at me every minute that I’m not driving fast enough; I’m not moving into the next lane fast enough; I’m  not keeping up with traffic; I need to “GO! GO! GO – NOW! NOW! NOW!” Even when he did not have Alzheimer’s Disease, he was unable to get the concept of a perspective different than his – as in, he is 6 feet tall, and can see a wee bit more around and over the car than 5 feet me. Now, if I could give him a sleeping pill, put him in the back seat, and just depend on calm sweet Miss GPS to guide me, I’d be fine. She never loses her patience. Ever.

Tune in later to find out how the doctor visit went.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

View Printer Friendly Version

The material included on this website contains general information intended as information only. This site is not intended to provide personal, professional, medical, or psychological advice, and should not be relied upon to govern behavior in any certain or particular circumstances. The opinions in the blogs are solely those of the owner of the website. The opinions on the message boards are not necessarily endorsed by the owner of this website, and are the opinions of those persons writing the messages. All material on this web site is for demonstration and informational purposes only.

The Alzheimer Spouse LLC 2009 All Rights Reserved