JOAN’S BLOG – FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2013 –  DEPRESSION TAKES HOLD

As most of you who follow my blogs know, my husband is physically disabled from Diabetes, and mentally disabled from Alzheimer’s Disease. A “Twofer” of disastrous proportions. I made the difficult placement decision and am trying to work with his Medicaid provider to make it happen.
                                                                                                              
Unfortunately,  Medicaid’s, monumental bureaucracy and misinformation has made it impossible for me to provide you with any specifics as to what has placed me in a state of despair and depression. Suffice to say that I have had to find out all the information I need for Nursing Home placement by myself. It has taken scores of phone calls to scores of different people and agencies; it has taken visits to nursing homes, conferences with Nursing Home directors, assisted Living facilities, and a near nervous breakdown in my psychologist’s office to get me to where I am today – with a name of someone at the Department of Elder Affairs who will be able to explain the system and all of my options to me.  In the meantime, I have run myself ragged trying to navigate the system with more hindrance than help from Medicaid, from which Sid has been receiving services since September.

This situation has been so stressful that it sent me into a tailspin of depression more severe than what I experienced with “the driving issue”, and anyone who followed that saga knows that it almost put me into the hospital. My psychologist has advised that I request an increase in dosage of my anti-depressant medication. I fought the idea at first, because I felt I did not need to mask the problem, I need solutions to it. She pointed out that the appropriate dose of medication will allow me to feel better enough to be able to tackle those solutions. I have agreed to discuss the increase with my primary physician, whom I see on Monday.

Making the placement decision is difficult enough, and cause enough for anxiety and depression, but when you add the massive task of trying make that happen through a system layered in bureaucracy, it is no wonder that I ended up in bed, completely unable to function yesterday.

For those of you whose spouses are legitimately on Medicaid because you do not have the finances to pay for services, but most especially if your spouse needs placement, I would like to offer a bit of advice based upon my nightmarish experience. Right from the beginning, ASK, ASK, ASK, and ASK ASK again. Ask what needs to be done; what paperwork needs to be filled out; who needs to be involved (doctor, Medicaid provider, nursing home personnel???) to get your spouse into a facility. If you do not get satisfactory answers, go to the Medicaid supervisor. If you do not get answers there, call the Department of Elder Affairs; call an Elder Law Attorney and ask for a free consultation. Do whatever needs to be done to get the answers you need.

I THOUGHT I had prepared for everything early enough – you know my “sooner rather than later” motto. I have adhered to it. What I did not know was the Medicaid bureaucracy runs on its own schedule and my “sooner” has turned out to be their “later”. I applied early enough that he was able to be approved for basic services when he needed them, but how was I to know that advanced services require more time, more paperwork, more approvals, a different program, and a host of other rules that defy reality? They certainly did not tell me. I had to find out by running into a brick wall every time I asked for information, and finding my own door in the wall that lead to someone who had answers and was willing to give them to me.

For now, in order to be able to function on a daily basis through this mess, I am taking my psychologist’s advice. I will ask for an increase in anti-depressant medication. She also told me that I need to focus solely on getting Sid placed, and that she and I would deal with the emotional ramifications after placement was complete. I did feel better after our session yesterday, and am following her advice. It has worked well enough that I was able to get myself together to write a blog today.

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
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