JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – JANUARY 29/30, 2011 – SOCIALIZATION FOR OUR SPOUSES – SOME CREATIVE IDEAS

Last week, one of our members, “mothert”, started a discussion on the message boards about a support group of “well” men willing to take turns providing companionship to her AD husband. Around the same time, Richard Taylor, Ph.D, who has dementia himself, wrote an article and made a video about the importance of those with dementia making friends with others with dementia. My husband has both, although not as much and often as needed. Between the message board topic and the video, my mind started racing, and I decided to enlist your help with ideas for AD socialization.

According to all of the research, socialization is absolutely necessary to the quality of life of an Alzheimer patient, up until the very end, where “socialization” may simply mean “human contact”, such as having a loved one holding their hand.

In my experience, there are four types of socialization when speaking of Alzheimer patients.

1. Socializing together with couples you knew “before AD”.  On the one hand, this part of our lives disappears when one partner is no longer able to mentally and or physically participate in activities and conversation. On the other hand, you may have at least one couple who is willing to go out with you and your spouse on a regular basis (maybe once a month), or if your spouse if quite advanced in the disease, come to your house for an evening. The husband ( or wife if it is your wife who has AD) can keep your spouse company, talk about experiences they have shared, as did my friend when we were vacationing in Orlando.

2. Socializing together with couples like yourselves, where one partner has AD. I understand that not everyone has the opportunity to meet such couples, and that is where Dr. Richard Taylor comes in. You may not like his ideas; they may not be feasible for you, but his videos are worth watching, as he has given the situation a lot of thought. Having dementia himself, he feels the lack of, and need for, socialization, and is suggesting that couples meet through their doctor. There is much more to it, as you will see by clicking this link for the videos he has made.

3. Socializing as “mothert” has suggested, by recruiting “well” friends to spend time with your spouse on a regular basis.

4. Socializing “alone” by the men and women who have dementia. Daycare can provide some form of socialization, but my husband and his friends love the feeling of normalcy provided when they get together for card games at each other’s houses or go on a supervised outing with each other. It is something that you will have to research, organize, and provide on your own, but in my experience, it has been worth it, as the guys thoroughly enjoy their days out together without their wives hovering over them.

Those are just a few ideas. What do you think of Dr. Taylor’s idea? Do you have any of your own that you could share with us? Please post under the existing message board topic: Forming a support group for DH.

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
2011 All Rights Reserved
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