JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – NOVEMBER 13/14, 2010 – CRAFTING MY WAY TO TRANQUILITY

I am perpetually exhausted. Although I do not yet have to handle my husband’s ADL’s, I do everything else. Besides the finances, insurance, phone calls, grocery shopping, laundry, and work, I take him to doctor, medical tests, and medical procedure appointments constantly. Last week, it was three times. Each time takes at least 2 hours. On Thursday, we got out of a 4:15 PM appointment at 6:30 PM. On Monday morning, he has an MRI appointment, and I have to take my father for a blood test. It seems to never end. Add to that the stress of Sid’s constant repetitive questions, his confusion, and his “verbal shadowing” (i.e. asking me where I am going and what I am doing every time I move), it is no wonder I am stressed and weary.

At the end of a long day of non-stop “doing”, I like to sit down in the den and watch TV, usually from 9PM – 11PM. Sid is always parked in his recliner in front of the TV, and likes to have me by his side. But I am fidgety. My mind races with thoughts, ideas, plans, concerns. I cannot shut it off. It does not make for a relaxing time.

One day, an idea came to me. I used to knit and do crewel work. (Men readers – do not stop reading. There is information for you at the end.) Well, okay, I haven’t done either in about 25 years, and these 62 year old eyes are no longer capable of crewel, but knitting? Yes, I thought I could knit, and the motion would keep my hands busy, and maybe relax me. Fueled with excitement at this new project, I ran to Walmart and bought some knitting needles and yarn to make a baby blanket for the new great niece/nephew who will be arriving in April. No booties or hats. I never learned to turn corners in knitting. Blankets, scarves, and afghans are within my realm of expertise. Since I did not remember how to start or end a row of stitches, I was happy to see that a small “how to” booklet came with my needles. In no time, I recalled how to do the basics, and was on my way.

That very evening, I sat down in front of the TV, knitting in hand, and felt a wave of relaxation come over me as my needles clicked away. Sid was happy that I was sitting near him; and I was happy to feel calm and unstressed for a change.

It has been over a month since I embarked on this new venture. The results so far are 3 baby blankets; two scarves (I have a lot of Northern friends and relatives who can use scarves)  ( actual picture of a scarf I made),  and a third scarf started. I also have planned a shawl for me, as our restaurants and theaters often have the A/C too cold. During my hectic, frenetic, busy days, I look forward to sitting down at night with those knitting needles and yarn. Even my AD husband, who is totally self absorbed, noticed the difference in my demeanor. He told me one evening that he could see that the knitting relaxed me.

Now, MEN, do not despair. There must be a type of craft you can do that will relax you. And remember the name Roosevelt Grier. He is a 6 foot 5, former football defensive lineman who does NEEDLEPOINT. If this giant bear of a man can needlepoint, who is to say you cannot knit, crochet, or needlepoint? If that does not appeal to you (as I am guessing it does NOT), how about model car building? How about jigsaw puzzles?

I am passing on this bit of information as a stress reliever caregiver tip. Perhaps you have a hobby such as knitting, needlecraft, crocheting, painting, or drawing, that you can resume when your spouse is sitting quietly or down for the night. Perhaps it will have the same calming effect on you as it has on me. You never know until you try.

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