JOAN’S BLOG – MONDAY, MARCH 9, 2009 – A CEASEFIRE

Have you ever had physical pain so severe, ever present, and constant that you get used to living with it?  It becomes as much a part of you as breathing. Then therapy, surgery, or medication takes it away completely, and what surprises you, what you actually notice, is the ABSENCE of the pain. It happened to me many years ago, when I was living with a painful condition that was completely eradicated by surgery. When I recovered from the surgery, I was dismayed that when I moved, there was no pain. “Wow”, I kept saying to myself, “This is so odd.”

That is how I have been feeling these past few days when a ceasefire suddenly occurred in the Alzheimer’s War being waged in this house. My husband has been calm, sweet, and loving, the way he was before Alzheimer’s Disease invaded his brain.  Could it be the increase in medication?  I checked back to my previous blogs, and noticed that this is only the third lull since June. No wonder I am so stressed out. But no matter, I will take what I can get, and enjoy it while it lasts.

We had a lovely, quiet, calm weekend, just as I had hoped. Once again, I was comforted in the arms of the man who has been my security, cheerleader, lover, friend, and most trusted advisor, since I was 21 years old. I have missed him desperately.

I am not delusional – I understand that Alzheimer’s Disease will not allow this to continue indefinitely. It may change in a week, a day, an hour, but these ceasefires de-stress me enough to allow me to gather my strength for the next battle. Actually, no one who knows me thinks I am handling the stress well, but I never stop trying to learn new strategies to deal with it.

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