JOAN’S BLOG – WEDNESDAY, JUNE 3, 2009 – LESSONS FROM THE CAREGIVER CONFERENCE – PART II AND SOME FUN FOR JOAN

Day two of the 2009 Alzheimer’s Community Care Educational Conference was as jam packed with information as the previous day, but it was squeezed into less time. We had 7 different topics from which to choose for our one and only break-out session of the day. I chose a presentation by Sally Moore, MSW – “ ….walk with her as she journeys through the maze of Alzheimer’s with her husband. Witness her daily struggles to understand and cope with the many faces of this disease………” From that description, you can see why I chose it – I thought I could definitely relate.

I mentioned yesterday that many break out sessions in various conferences have similar lessons and information, but often one can glean a new idea or look at the same situation differently, depending upon how the material is presented. And so it was with Sally’s presentation. She used a slide show of calming, beautiful nature pictures and music to describe the Caregiver stages of Alzheimer’s Disease – Shock, Denial, Anger, and finally Acceptance. The acceptance stage for her came after her husband's tantrums and rages subsided. As I have heard so many of you say – the love returned, and her message was to do as she did – spend every moment possible with your spouse, doing the activities in which they are able to participate – watching a sunset; picking flowers; walking on a beach; listening to music. Because sooner than you can imagine, death takes them and you will never again see their face or feel their touch. I must tell you that tears flowed from everyone in the room.

In the two days, we heard from a variety of speakers – doctors, politicians, Alzheimer officials - who addressed the entire conference attendees in the ballroom. Although their speeches focused on different subjects, every one of them had two themes running through their speeches. As I mentioned yesterday, the importance of dementia training for all medical personnel was one of them. The other was the fact that I was going to die before my husband. It started out as 40-60% of caregivers die before the one for whom they are caring, and by the time the keynote speaker, Deidre Hall, came up to talk about her father who had Alzheimer’s Disease, she had it up to 70%. I thought I may as well go home right then and pick out a burial plotfor myself.

Dr. Teena Cahill’s uplifting, positive caregiving message gave me hope that I didn’t need to buy that plot just yet. Dr. Cahill lives in the trenches with the rest of us spousal caregivers. For 17 years, she has been caring for her husband, who was a strong, healthy, intelligent, airline pilot one night, and by the next morning, was barely alive, having suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, followed by a stroke, followed by a spinal cord injury. With her humor, boundless energy, and message of resilience, she had the crowd on its feet. Her basic message is that life is tough; it isn’t fair; it isn’t easy; but you can’t change what it throws at you. You can only change your reaction to it. Accept what you cannot change; educate yourself about the disease with which you are dealing; teach others; help others; and you will be enriching your own life in the process. As all of us do on this website.

Which brings me to what we decided was the humorous part of the day, because it is better to laugh than cry. Set the scene - Myself and 2 women friends at the conference. Three husbands with either Alzheimer’s Disease or some other form of memory disorder together in one house keeping each other company. (They are all functioning well enough to be left with each other at home) The 4th friend was dropping her husband at the house later on, and then coming to the conference. She arrived at the house to find Sid,  with the poor balance, numb feet from diabetic neuropathy, and dizziness when he looks up, standing on a ladder trying to change a light bulb.  She went out to the car to get something, and when she came back, HER husband was up on the ladder trying to change the light bulb. She decided not to come to the conference and stay with the guys! One must be flexible with plans when dealing with Alzheimer’s Disease. 

When the conference was over, we went back to the house for a cookout. There they were – 4 guys – 4 lbs. of fish, and a barbecue grill. We four women poured ourselves some wine, sat back, and watched. It took a while. It took all four of them, a lot of discussion among them, but the end result was delicious, perfectly grilled fish. And a lot more wine. I relaxed; I enjoyed myself; everyone slept over, as was the plan; and the next morning we headed home. I spent the weekend with Dr. Jekyll, but Mr. Hyde came home with me. It’s Alzheimer’s Disease – moods change in a minute, and one needs to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out why.

Below are links to some of the speakers, break-out topics, and their presenters in which I think you may be interested. Clicking on their names will not give you summaries of their conference talks, but will give you information about them and their work.

PLENARY SPEAKERS
Dr. Richard E. Powers, MD- Geriatric psychiatrist and neuropathologist – University of Alabama at Birmingham

Eric J. Hall – President of Alzheimer’s Foundation of America (AFA)

Douglas Beach – Florida Secretary of Elder Affairs

Teena Cahill, Ph.D – Director of Wisdom and Beyond LLC, international motivational speaker and practicing psychologist

Deidre Hall – Actress, National Spokesperson for Alzheimer’s Disease

Sampling of Break Out Session Presenters and Topics
Cognitive Stimulation Therapy – Steven M. Barone, Sr. CSA
Music Therapy – Thomas A. Dalton LMHC, MT_BC and Ron Radcliffe
Mood and Behavioral Disturbances Associated with Dementia – Marc E. Agronin, MD
The Human Genome and Alzheimer’s Disease – Professor Claes Wahlestedt, M.D, Ph.D
Preventing Challenging Behavior……in person with AD and related dementias – Chris Ebell, Ot/L
…Solace Throughout the Alzheimer’s Caregiver’s Journey  - Sally Moore, MSW

MESSAGE BOARD: Joan's Blog - Conference Part II and Some Fun for Joan

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©Copyright 2009 Joan Gershman

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