JOAN’S BLOG – TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2009 – YOU CANNOT BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY.

Aren’t I the one who is always preaching “sooner rather than later”?  We who are caring for our spouses with Alzheimer’s Disease must prepare our finances, living arrangements, wills, powers of attorney, health care proxies, far ahead of needing them. We try to get our spouses on waiting lists for Day Care and Long Term Care Facilities far ahead of needing them.  Didn’t I take my own advice by moving into an Independent Living Facility that is part of an Assisted Living Community and a Dementia Care Community, even though my neighbors are a generation older than me?

Guess what I found out on Monday? You can be as anal as I am, prepare for everything, and STILL be taken by surprise. I took Sid for his second lumbar injection for back pain Monday afternoon. His first injection was two weeks ago. He had site numbing medication in lieu of general anesthesia because I was concerned about the cognitive side effects. Everything went according to plan. He was a bit tired, but experienced no pain, and was fine. That was two weeks ago.

Monday was a different story. After the procedure, as had happened previously, the nurse opened the car door, and told Sid to get out of the wheelchair into the car. Easier said than done. His legs were shaking; he could not stand; and she had to help him into the car. She said that he may experience some numbing and tingling down his legs. As you can imagine, he was VERY upset, not only because his rear was completely numb and his legs were unable to hold him up, but because this was so different from the previous injection effects. Telling him this was normal and could last a few days was doing nothing to calm him. In his mind, it was different, and he was frightened. 

When we got home, I thought, “What am I going to do? We don’t have a wheelchair. How am I going to get him into the house? I am not strong enough or big enough to hold him up. If he falls, we both go down – on cement.”

Thankfully, by holding onto me and the garage walls, he was able to make it into the house, where I immediately plopped him down into his den chair. Thoughts and fears were swirling through my head. “I did not anticipate this. I did not prepare for it. You can’t prepare for everything. I am going to need to keep a wheelchair on hand, just in case. Who knows when the next time will be that he needs so much assistance in walking? I wonder if insurance will pay for a wheelchair.”  The thoughts kept coming, bombarding my brain.

All turned out fine. He was able to walk normally again within a few hours, but the experience made me realize that we just cannot prepare for everything. We are going to get curve balls and unforecasted storms, in which case we will have to use our ingenuity and cell phones.

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