JOAN’S BLOG – THUR/FRI,JULY 2/3, 2009 - CALM CHANGES EVERYTHING

When my husband was in the midst of Alzheimer rage, depression, public insults towards me, and outbursts of anger towards others (which he interpreted as correcting their “wrong” behavior) , for the last 10 months, everything else took a back seat.  Dealing with his issues, as well as my own stress, left me with little time or energy to handle website business, household accounts, and important life decisions. I would suspect it is that way for everyone. Alzheimer’s caregiving can be all consuming and overwhelming, made worse by rage towards you from the person for whom you are trying to provide care.

Because I have learned that Alzheimer’s Disease can change in a second, I am saying that FOR NOW, while things are calm, I am going ahead with those important website business and home decisions. You will hear more about the exciting website decisions in the coming weeks.

As for the home situation, I have come to realize that we are in a different stage of our lives than just 3 short years ago, when we moved here to Florida. I expected to live in my dream home for at least another 10 years, never anticipating Alzheimer’s Disease, and its broad implications for Sid’s care, socialization, life style simplification, and finances.

Calmness in an Alzheimer spouse allows the love to shine through once again on both sides. It reminds me that the needs of the man I love are more important than a big house. I have to give him the chance to experience the best quality of life possible, while he is still able. So I am going ahead with plans to find an appropriate Independent Living Facility for us (see blog below). It will afford him the opportunity to thrive with socialization and activities. If I outlive him, I will still be young enough to change my living arrangements again to suit my own needs. And who knows – by then, I may be perfectly content in the Independent Living Facility. There is that “no cooking dinner” provision to which I continually refer .

I hope to accomplish all the background work – lawyers, real estate agents, etc., during the calm before the next Alzheimer storm brews.

Calm is good. I like calm. I can deal better with Alzheimer’s Disease when there is calm.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com
©Copyright 2009 Joan Gershman 
The Alzheimer Spouse LLC 2009 All Rights Reserved

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC 2009 All Rights Reserved