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JOAN’S BLOG – FRIDAY, March 6, 2009 - CALM?

Yesterday (Thursday), I wrote that this blog would be posted after I took my walk around the lake that very morning. Since it is now Friday morning, and the blog is just being posted, you must be thinking – “That woman took one loooooong walk!” No, I just got busy with website work other than blog writing, but I am here now.

Wednesday’s doctor visit was a difficult one for both of us. First, the doctor told my husband that the driving was no longer the issue – he’s not driving, end of story; the issue now is to calm him down enough with the correct combination of medications, so that his anger does not escalate into violence. As is his manner, he was soft spoken and gentle with this news, but the reality of the final “no driving” edict hit Sid hard.

Since I was beginning to think that I was living in some kind of parallel universe, because I seem to be the ONLY person who sees Sid’s severe depression and angry outbursts, I told the doctor about all of it. He could see it immediately (guess that’s what comes from being an Alzheimer specialist for about 30 years) and assured me that it was, indeed, THE DISEASE that was causing all of this. Yes, I knew it was, but when no one else sees it, one begins to think one is going COO-COO. I was quietly reminded once again that I am not to argue at all, which will only make the situation worse. I must always look stressed, because no one seems to believe that I can and do speak softly without arguing to Sid when his anger escalates. I can and I do. Not always. I slip up occasionally, but I have learned that arguing is useless and worsens the situation.

Sid thinks that he can “turn it on and off” at will; that he is in complete control of his emotions, and that the increase in medication will do NOTHING. He cannot see the possibility that it is the medication that may help him “turn it off”. I don’t care, because he has been calm for a couple of days, and we both desperately need calm.

After supper, we went to the movies with another couple, and had a quiet, pleasant evening. We have plans to spend the weekend doing something low key together. Maybe a ride to the beach. Maybe sitting by our community pool. Nothing hectic. Nothing noisy. Quiet and calm. Quiet and calm. That is what we both need.

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