JOAN’S BLOG – THURSDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2008 – BOB RENSHAW’S (baltobob on the message boards) LOVE STORY

This website is here for spouses of Alzheimer patients to support and inform each other; to cry on each other’s shoulders; to comfort one another, because as the our motto states, “Our Issues are Unique.” We understand one another’s problems and struggles as no one else can. But for every one of us, behind Alzheimer’s Disease, there is a love story. If you click on the “Love Story” section on the left side of this website, you will read many heartwarming stories from our members. I recently asked our newer members to send me their stories. Bob Renshaw has generously given me permission to share his and Mary’s lovely story with you.  

"Maryland is not known for Tornados, so you know that when we get one, something miraculous is bound to happen.  One came through the Hilendale section of Baltimore County on June 17, 1973.  It overturned a car and then ripped through an apartment complex somehow tearing the roofs off of every other building.  I didn’t live anywhere near there, but had been at my step-mother’s house to help her with some chores.  On our way back home, my buddy and I had stopped at a restaurant in Hillendale.  We heard all the sirens and watched the fire trucks and police cars race by and a morbid curiosity drove us to walk back to check out all the excitement.  As we stood looking at the destruction, I noticed Mary with two of her friends directly behind us.  I kept looking back and tried to work up the courage to say something to her.  I couldn’t think of an ice breaker until I overheard one of them say, “Isn’t this some way to start our vacation?”  Now, how do three young women all start vacation the same day?  I turned around and asked Mary, “Do you teach?”  She replied, “Yes, do you?”  No, I didn’t, but the ice was broken and we began a discussion which resulted in learning her name and phone number.

As for Mary”s story, she wasn’t supposed to be there either.  Her plan had been to drive to other side of the county to buy a TV.  She started out in beautiful, bright sun, but before she even got to the beltway, it began to rain torrentially.  She turned around and by the time she got home, it was sunny.  She turned around and again, the skies darkened and opened up.  This happened three times and she actually looked heavenward and said, “Okay God.  I get the message.  You don’t me to go there today.” 

I took her to dinner the following Friday and on Saturday went with her when she bought the infamous TV.  (After all, she needed a man to carry the TV to and from her car!)  There was a crab house within walking distance of her apartment and if you know anything about eating steamed hard crabs, it is very leisurely and time consuming.  We would talk and talk for over two hours over a dozen crabs.  By August, I proposed and when she accepted, we discussed which school holiday we wanted to utilize for the wedding and honeymoon.  We didn’t want to complicate things by doing it over Christmas and I didn’t really want to wait until Easter or the following summer.  That left Thanksgiving, so our wedding day, November 17, was five months to the day from when we met!

This year is our thirty-fifth anniversary.  I can honestly say that I love her more (or at least differently) than I did on our wedding day.  She is now totally dependent upon me which I view as an honor.  We have been through good times and bad raising two boys, but we have always been through them together.  I regret that our “golden years” are not so golden, but we have had a chance to enjoy retirement before things got too bad.  When she retired in 2002, she was already exhibiting early memory difficulties.  We tried to take a trip every six months.  We have been to Hawaii, The Alaska Inside Passage, The Panama Canal, The Mexican Riviera, Amsterdam, and this past spring to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon.  That last trip was pretty hard on both of us and is probably our last.

Like all of us, I know what the future will bring.  I just don’t know when.  I only hope that she remains as happy and compliant as she is now.  As long as we have that smile, I can do anything."

I hope Bob’s story will encourage you to share yours with us.

©Copyright 2008 Joan Gershman

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