JOAN’S BLOG-MON/TUES.- OCTOBER 26/27, 2009 – A TIME IN OUR LIVES                 

Today’s blog was prompted by a statement made by a member on our message boards. When you think you cannot bear the heartache, the financial struggle, the shunning by “friends” and relatives, the physical demands, the emotional devastation, and the loneliness of Alzheimer caregiving one more minute, remember her words, “Caregiving is a only a temporary time in our lives.” It made me think about the other difficult times I have endured in my life. No matter how heartbreaking or torturous to suffer at the time, they did end. And so shall this Alzheimer journey. Tragically, it will end with the death of our spouses, but it WILL end. We will come through it changed by the experience. But we WILL come through it, and we WILL come through it wiser and stronger.

If we are lucky, we are given an average of 85+ years on this earth. Even if Alzheimer caregiving has taken up 10-15 of those years, it is not our entire life. When our Alzheimer journey is ended, some of us will have more years left than others, but the time does not matter. What matters is what we do with the time. I urge you to read the posts by our widows/widowers – Fran, New Realm, Bettyhere, and Sandi, to name just a few. Alzheimer’s Disease and what it did to the personalities, cognition, and physical abilities of their spouses will not be forgotten, but those bitter memories are soon replaced with the warm, loving recollections of the spouse they loved before Alzheimer’s Disease. They tucked those reminiscences into their hearts and moved forward with new lives.

This blog ties in with the Caregiver Power Blog, in which I urged everyone to develop a fulfilling life of their own that can be nurtured and expanded when caregiving ends. Yes, we will be alone. But we do not have to be lonely, adrift, and without purpose. Think of all we have learned from our caregiving journey. We can take that knowledge and ability and use it to find a new career, teach, write a book, raise awareness, help others through the journey or…………………..leave Alzheimer’s Disease behind completely and take our new strength of character with us on a fresh path.

During this caregiving portion of our lives, we need all the help we can garner. We need to reach out to support groups, to those on our message boards, social workers, health care workers, community services. We cannot get through this alone. But please remember that this is only a PART of our lives, and there is life for the caregiver AFTER Alzheimer’s Disease.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com

  
©Copyright 2009 Joan Gershman 
The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
2009 All Rights Reserved

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC 2009 All Rights Reserved