JOAN’S BLOG – JANUARY 28, 2013 – ALZHEIMER’S, APATHY, AND SOFIA VERGARA

We are well aware that Alzheimer’s Disease is a serious condition. No one knows how emotionally, mentally, and physically debilitating it can be on patients and caregivers alike, better than us spouses who deal with its effects every day. Occasionally, it helps to reduce the stress by treating the situation with humor.

Recently, an incident occurred in my life with my husband’s Alzheimer’s Disease that prompted this tongue in cheek blog.

Apathy is one of the many symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease. It manifests itself in a variety of ways. The PWD (person with dementia) may lose interest in activities that he/she previously enjoyed.  For instance, if he/she was an avid golfer, they may refuse to play anymore, often due to the lost ability to understand and execute the moves needed to play. Card players may lose interest in the games for the same reason – loss of ability.

In addition to losing interest in games and movies that are difficult for them to follow, they may appear “blank”. They may sit and stare for hours, apparently thinking of nothing. Their affect is flat, meaning that they show no excitement or emotion in response to good or bad news.

During the last two years, Sid’s apathy has worsened. He displays excitement about nothing. Not a movie, upcoming theater event, visit from friends. He engages in a lot of staring. When I ask him what he is thinking about, he says “nothing”. He does laugh at television comedies (regardless of how many times he has seen it, since he does not recall it),  and he does occasionally try to say something to make me laugh. But mostly, he just sits and stares or sleeps, cries at what makes him sad (which, lately, is everything), and displays a blank face.  

Now, I have to tell you honestly that one of the things that used to make my husband brim with enthusiasm was a beautiful, voluptuous woman. What can I say? He was a, shall we say, “breast” man. He never missed noticing a well endowed woman on the beach, on television, on the street – anywhere. We used to “rate” the women we saw as “real” or “fake”, and on a scale from spectacular to “so so”. You can tell we had a fun, trusting marriage by the fact that if, although rare, he missed seeing a gorgeous woman on the street, I would point her out to him. He liked the hour glass figures. He saw nothing attractive about the skinny, skeleton like, anorexic looking models. Not his type. He was a Marilyn Monroe and Sophia Loren kind of guy.

For an amusing tale of one of his enthusiastic, non apathetic incidents, please read this blog from 2008.

It was during the Golden Globe Award show a couple of weeks ago that I knew Alzheimer’s Apathy had a complete choke hold on my husband. I watch award shows for one reason and one reason only – to see and critique the gowns. I made him sit and watch the Red Carpet show before the awards. Sofia Vergara appeared on the screen, and I cannot imagine any man alive, or half dead for that matter, not reacting to that gorgeous face and body. She is exactly the type over which my “pre AD” husband would salivate. Tall, curvaceous, voluptuous, and beautiful beyond belief. I pointed her out to Sid, and he had no reaction. “Don’t you think she’s GORGEOUS?”,  I practically screamed. “I guess” was his answer. That’s it. Nothing. No other response.

If I did not know it before, that two word answer sealed the deal for me – Alzheimer’s Apathy is in complete control of my husband. Sofia Vergara?   Only Alzheimer’s Apathy or death could make a man apathetic at the sight of her.

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