JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – NOVEMBER 13-15, 2009 – THE ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE WEATHER REPORT

On Thursday night, my husband and I attended a live performance of “Grease”  with two of our “Alzheimer Buddy” couples and a bus load of strangers (to us) from one of the couple’s travel club.

During intermission and after the show, Sid was talking to one of the travel club members whom he did not know. He was his old, sunny self. Talking, laughing, seemingly as normal as anyone.

By the time we got home, admittedly quite late after a long evening of an hour bus ride (each way), dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, and a two hour show, he was in a total “fog” . When we got into the house, I asked him where my “doggie bag” from the restaurant was. He had been holding it in the car. He had no idea what I was talking about. He looked at me with that confused, scrunched up face look. Even after I told him that I hadn’t finished my dinner, and that he had been holding the bag, his response was, “You didn’t finish your dinner?”  Total fog.

That is when I started to think about Alzheimer’s Disease’s likeness to the weather. So here is my version of the Alzheimer’s Weather Report:

Sunny – On a sunny Alzheimer Day, your spouse is “on”. This is the person in whom no one sees a thing wrong. He/she is talkative, making sense, joking, and laughing. You know him/her – the one who makes you look like a lying drama queen/king; the one who makes everyone think YOU are the crazy one.

Cloudy – On a cloudy Alzheimer Day, your spouse seems just a bit “off”. He/she may need reminders for the day’s events; to take their pills; to recall a conversation, but is generally able to function fairly well.

Rainy – On a rainy Alzheimer Day, your spouse is depressed. They realize the situation they are in, and the tears flow. Sometimes, it is a quiet drizzle. You look at them and see a tear or two slowly trickling down their cheeks. Sometimes, it is a heartbreaking wail of sobs. If we are lucky, a gentle embrace and soft reassuring words will stem the tide.

Foggy – On a foggy Alzheimer Day, your spouse is lost in the haze of the disease. They forget everything from one minute to the next; they are confused; they do not understand what you are talking about, even if the incident occurred 5 minutes ago. Not only do we have a lot of foggy days in my house, but Sid tells me that sometimes he knows he is in a fog, and sometimes he is blissfully (?) unaware.

Hurricane–Here in Florida, we are warned at least a week in advance when a hurricane is brewing 1500 miles away, off the coast of Africa. Our trusty weathermen show us maps, satellite images, and computer models of what path the hurricane is likely to take. We stock up on water, flashlights, batteries, battery operated TV’s, and put up hurricane shutters to protect ourselves from the vicious onslaught of violent winds and rain. On the day when Hurricane Alzheimer hits, warnings are sometimes minimal to non-existent, and the caregiver is bombarded with verbal abuse, irrational behavior, and sometimes physical abuse, just as vicious as nature’s hurricane winds. The caregiver needs to bring out the arsenal of protective supplies, that hopefully they prepared for as diligently as we have prepared for nature’s hurricanes:

A cell phone ON YOU at all times with 911 on speed dial.
A list of phone numbers of neighbors you can call for help.
The Alzheimer hotline number – 800-272-3900
Anti-psychotic medication

And sometimes, just like in New England, all weather systems can occur on the SAME DAY. That is when the New Englander gets on a plane and flies to a sunny climate, or hardy souls that they are, shrug, and say with a smile, “If you don’t like the weather, wait a minute. It will change.”  With Alzheimer’s weather, there is no flying away from it. We just have to batten down the hatches, hunker down, and wait for the skies to clear, because, just as in New England, the weather can change in a minute.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com 

©Copyright 2009 Joan Gershman 
The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
2009 All Rights Reserved

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