JOAN’S BLOG – MON/TUE., APRIL 26/27, 2010 – THE ALZHEIMER TURTLE

We have many new members who are just getting acquainted with the bizarre symptoms of Alzheimer’s Disease beyond memory loss. Many of us veteran members can guide them through the unexpected personality changes, tantrums, obsessive and/or rigid behaviors, slow processing, and confusion. I have chronicled my surprise and inept handling of most of these behaviors in my blogs, but here comes another one for which I was not prepared. I have named it the “Turtle Syndrome” . It seems to go hand in hand with the “No Sense of Time Syndrome”.

If I tell my AD husband that we have a 10 AM appointment one half hour drive from our house, he will INSIST he can get up at 8:45 AM, and be in the car at 9:30 AM. That gives him 45 minutes to get ready, which, in his mind is fine because…according to him, it only takes him 5 minutes to shave; 10 minutes to get dressed; and 10 minutes to eat.

I have learned, as I learn everything related to Alzheimer’s Disease – the hard way- that if we need to be in the car by 9:30 AM, he needs to get up at 7:30 AM. At first, I was bewildered by how long it took him to get ready. He has no problems with ADL’s. He is capable of shaving, brushing his teeth, and dressing himself. He has not forgotten any of the steps. What takes him so long, and WHY, I ask myself, as I am grumbling about having to get up an hour earlier than I deem necessary. 

The answer is simple, and one I should have figured out long before I did. My social worker calls the brain, “Command Central” . It controls everything we do, from lifting our hands to solving complex mathematical problems. The Alzheimer brain is losing its connections and deteriorating. Processing of information has slowed to a crawl. I was familiar with Sid’s slow processing of verbal information, but it took awhile for me to realize that his brain is also slow to deliver the order to start and complete motor tasks.

If he is encouraged by me to “hurry up”, the situation worsens. He becomes confused, and cannot figure out what to do next. Then he becomes agitated, which can erupt into a full blown argument that stresses both of us. I lose the most in these circumstances, because I will stay aggravated and stressed for hours, whereas he will have forgotten the entire incident in ½ an hour.

On the first day I met him, our neurologist told me that if I, the Type A personality, was going to survive my husband’s Alzheimer’s Disease, I was going to have to learn to “go with the flow”. He will be happy to know that I have learned to do just that (most of the time), as evidenced by me taking the uncomplicated route to solving the “turtle” problem. Just as one does with friends who are always late, I tell him that the appointment is at least ½ an hour earlier than it is, and set the alarm clock for an hour earlier than he thinks it should be set. Problem solved. And I stay in bed for some extra snooze time while he takes his time getting ready.

Feedback to joan@thealzheimerspouse.com 

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