JOAN’S WEEKEND BLOG – OCTOBER 12 -14, 2012 – ALZHEIMER PATIENT – TO VOTE OR NOT TO VOTE

Before I begin, it is vital that I reiterate my policy on political discussions. We are a diverse group from different backgrounds, ethnicity, political parties, religions, and life experiences. We are here to support one another and gather information related to how we cope as spouses of Alzheimer patients. We are not here to argue politics. I will not, under any circumstances, allow any remarks on the message boards that support or denigrate one candidate or another for any elective office.

That said, I feel the issue of voting is an important one, akin to the driving issue. We have discussed and read articles as to when the car keys must be taken away from your spouse who has Alzheimer’s Disease.  Well, unless you live on Mars, you are aware that we are in the midst of a presidential campaign. The question of the day is – when do you take voting privileges away from your spouse with Alzheimer’s Disease?

To the outsider, unfamiliar with the roller coaster abilities of an Alzheimer patient, this would seem a simple question. If they have Alzheimer’s Disease, they do not recognize family members, never mind political figures. They don’t remember any political issues. They should not vote.

To us, the spouses of Alzheimer patients, we know that the situation is not so cut and dried. Your spouse may not remember what he/she ate on a particular day; may not recall a conversation you had 10 minutes ago; may not remember where he/she put the newspaper. On the other hand, that same person may know exactly how he/she has always voted; may be fully aware of the candidate that supports that position, and may want to vote for that candidate.

Conversely, your spouse may appear to function well, answer questions properly, and watch the news regularly, yet when asked about his/her own position on the issues, as well as the candidates, have no idea of any of it.

It is my opinion, and you are welcome to disagree, that the decision is ours, based upon how well we know our spouses. Let me give you an example from my own life. I know my husband’s political views. They are basically the same as mine, although we have agreed to disagree on occasion. 4 years ago, he listened to the debates and for that particular evening, remembered many of the points each candidate made. He knew from the beginning for whom he was going to vote, often remarking on the absurdity ( according to him) of the “other guy’s” views. He remarked often about why he liked his candidate. On election day, he walked into the polling place and voted for his man.

It is now 4 years later. He still knows for whom he is going to vote, but he is no longer able to articulate why. He watched the Obama/Romney debate, knew whose views he liked at the moment they were talking, but the points left his head as soon as he heard them.  At the moment they are discussed, he knows on which side he stands on 3 important issues – Social Security, Medicare, and the war in Afghanistan. If I ask him later to explain his views, he is unable to organize or recall his thoughts enough to articulate them.

Because he has not changed his political party or his stands on the issues in 40 years, and I know he is supporting the candidate who supports those views, I am going to let him vote in this year’s presidential election. I do believe it will be the last presidential election in which he will vote, if the last 4 years of decline are any indication of how the next 4 will go.

When they are no longer able to understand the issues or recognize the candidates or understand what they are talking about,  it is sadly time to turn in the voter card. Surely it would be easy for me to say that we can get an absentee ballot and show our spouses for whom WE want them to vote, but I feel that is dishonest and disrespectful to our responsibility as citizens.

Have you given this issue any thought? For those of you whose spouses are hopping back and forth between stages and what they understand, what do you think about this subject, and what are you going to do about it? We did have discussions on this subject during the 2008 election, but so many new members have joined us since then, a newer discussion will be valuable to all.

MESSAGE BOARDS: Joan's Weekend Blog - Alzheimer's Disease - To Vote or Not

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The Alzheimer Spouse LLC
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